WHAT’S SPECIAL ABOUT A BIRTHDAY PARTY?

My friend? No, a friend to everybody, Carol Flemming, held a bash at her house for her 75th birthday party. “My kids insisted on this party,” she told me. I totally understand that. The “kids” think you are on your last legs and counting when you reach 75.

I met Carol when I wrote features for the Calaveras Enterprise. It was 1982 and I featured her costume business, a unique and wonderfully creative business that is still going. Marti Oaks, right, with her son, worked for Carol and at one time lived in my Murphys house.

Pat Patterson, right, also worked costume design. It was fun catching up with old friends.

I also got to meet Carol’s daughter, Liz, whom I’d never met before, along with her daughter, whose name I didn’t get.

Carol’s son Beau barbecued chicken and tri-tip. He, like his mom is a good cook. I’d met him when Carol had a restaurant in Arnold, the Froggy Diner. There is always cooking or a side business in Carol’s life.There were her friends and neighbors of all ages. Names seem to float out of my brain. This woman, like me, is finding acreage hard to keep up and looking to downsize. I hear that more and more from people I know.

Dale said she didn’t take good pictures, but I do. I thought her laugh made her beautiful. It turned out, she knows my brother Clark.

I finally got this little girl to smile for my picture. But she kept a protective closeness to her parents.

My brother Clark was once a neighbor of Carol’s in Burson. This man remembered he and Clark fixing a bridge that went out, before CalTrans was even called.

This woman too, talked to me at length of all the favors that Clark does for the neighbors. He helped with projects after her husband died, making her ever grateful.

This couple also know Clark and talked about him and the neighborhood, and things they’ve done together.

Another daughter, Mona and another grand daughter, I’d never met.

And, Carol’s daughter China Rose with her two girls. She also has two sons. I hadn’t seen China in over 17 years.

The baby was determined to sleep, but China wanted her to stay awake for the long ride back to Santa Cruz. I remember those days.

Carol joined the kids in the pool for a cooling dunk. I love it when you get to enjoy your own party.

This smart woman is a former daughter-in-law-still friends of the family. She gave me good advice about AirBnB…ideas have been floating through my brain all day.

The woman in red, Cindy, I think, is an artist. I always complain I never have time to paint or create.  Her very good advice, “Make it your priority, first thing in the morning. Everything else can wait.”

A birthday surprise for Carol, her brother Willie flew in from Hawaii.

I tried to get a picture of everyone. And, I missed Phil, her husband, who was busy, busy, busy, tending the bar and keeping people happy. There is a pattern, here.

Kids, babies, teens, middle agers, old folks…

You know what was different about this party?  I saw no one with their head down, texting and playing with their phone or messages or…whatever they do. That, my friends, is what was special about this birthday party. A rarity. And great fun.

GOODBYE CALIFORNIA.

My son Ken, in the bright blue t-shirt, hosted a goodbye California party for family, friends and neighbors Saturday. It has been nice having he and Laurie in Calaveras County, but his job required him to move to Reno, Nevada.

What are the odds that when Ken bought the house on Vista Del Lago three years ago, he would find this man, Lynn Breitzman a neighbor on the same street. He, and his wife Sandy went to High School with Ken in Fremont. Lynn’s sister, Dawn, was a close chum of my oldest daughter Kristanne, as well.

This couple, Jeff and Debbie Machado also live on Vista Del Lago. Debbie is Sandy Breitzman’s sister, who attended high school  in Fremont with Ken, Doug and Kristanne.

Debbie and Sandie with Laurie, kind of enjoying my bewildered looks at the connections.

But, wait, there’s more. Jeff, it turns out, used to be a member of  Laurie’s brother’s band. Mike didn’t know Jeff lived in the neighborhood until they ran into  each other at Laurie and Ken’s.

Mike and his wife Ramona, live in Lodi where he, Laurie, and her sisters went to High School.

Ken’s buddy Dave Pinkett,  attended High School in Fremont with those mentioned but he remain a Fremont resident.  Daughter Kristanne was Dave’s date for his  High School Senior Ball.

We had the biggest driveway in the neighborhood and kids with paper routes folded papers on our driveway.  Doug, didn’t smoke and he policed the driveway and forbade anyone to sneak a cig. None of the paper-boys were allowed to smoke at home, either.

George and I were the first of my family to move to Calaveras County in 1978. Followed by Clark who settled near Camanche in Burson.

Followed by Brother Bill, who lives about a mile from Ken and Laurie in Rancho Calaveras.

My grandson, Stewart, missed all the coincidental tales and laughter since he is involved with his girlfriend Aly. They met on the job where they both work as writing tutors for college students. He won’t be making many trips to Calaveras County now that his parents will move. Boo, hoo, for me. I will really miss them all.

  Laurie’s sister Michelle…

…and her husband, Wayne, live about 4 miles down Highway 26 from Vista Del Lago.

Laurie, too, has lifelong high school friends. This is Diane and Randy Cantoulupis

Two sister’s-in-law, Ramona and Theresa.

I don’t know all of their neighbors and friends.

It was a fun day, as people spread out into the yard.

I talked to this woman about her impending move to Oregon. I know Laurie told me everyone’s name, I may even have marked names down-somewhere.

I have an excuse. I’m still a bit disoriented. Out of my sling for hours each day since June 2nd.

The food from a local Mexican restaurant-a standout. Laurie and Ken may be saying goodbye to California, but moving means you end up with a new crop of friends and neighbors. And, by chance, you might meet people you knew in a former life. Could it happen again?

 

FREE CHRISTMAS DINNER

To have lush choices about how we will spend our Christmas week is a gift that reminds me how fortunate I am to be in a community that treasures neighbors, friendship and family. I planned to take a friend to lunch Christmas Eve day, but he was snowed in and I couldn’t pick him up. By coincidence, my son Ken and his family came to Murphys and I had lunch with them instead.

Murphys hosts a free Christmas dinner every year for anyone who would like to join hands and enjoy this special day with others. My friend was still snowed in and I decided to go, remembering the last time I attended this dinner was right after my husband died, year 2000. It is held at the Native Sons Hall in Murphys and he was their treasurer at the time. Table, by table moves though the line after everyone is seated and has had a chance to visit and get acquainted.

I expected to sit with neighbors I knew, second from left, Jan and then Becky. At the door, I was told, I had to sit where I was directed because they fill up the tables from front to back, so fast, and I would be unlikely to find a seat with my friends.

As it turned out, I was standing in line with Carol Burton, (rt.) and her family of five. With me we made a “family” of six. Carol and I were part of American Field Service when my kids were in high school. Left, her daughter-in-law who is an Old Blue, meaning she graduated from UC Berkley.

What was nice is that I could move from table to table and catch up with a number of people I hadn’t seen in years. Here, Eleanor Darby with her grandson. She is another old friend from AFS.

Pastor Jo Sider in red, I hadn’t seen in two years and I’ve run into her 3 times in two weeks.

Dan Darby, a magnificent artist, and now, a published author. He wrote a book entitled, God’s Gold.

I didn’t get pictures of everyone I knew at the dinner, but I managed to get Carol’s family. Nancy, in front with her mom, is an avid biker, and for the first time I got a glimpse into her hobby. She sent me a map of Club’s ride  through central Oregon,  and then the coastal side of the State of Oregon,to take place in May. Behind her, son Jim and his wife; to the right, her daughter, Laurie and husband, with Santa peeking out from the crowd.

Today, my immediate family and my daughter-in-law’s family will be celebrating Christmas with a Greek themed dinner. We don’t trade gifts, but we will be gifting the Butte Fire Recovery Fund.

From Dr. Seuss,  How The  Grinch Stole Christmas, comes the wisest words:   “Christmas is within our grasp as long as we have hands to clasp.”

THE PLOT THICKENS.

I tried to find out who the mystery Santa is who left a Christmas Card in my physical Email box. No one will fess up. Yesterday, I found a second one, only the mystery Santa made sure I’d get it. It was in my regular mail box. This Santa likes valentines day. Hmmm!

I’ve called every neighbor who passes by my box and knows me well besides Cindy and Gary who said it wasn’t them. Sharon and Bert, Brian, Suzy and Ron, Sherry and Rob, Karen, Jan, Patty and Ott. I have two more households to reach today that were not home when I called. But then?

Neighbor Kristi Darby says, just accept it and “Get a life.” To you Kristi, I have a life. Every morning I get on this machine and learn something. I learned this morning that sewage water that goes through a treatment plant is pure enough to drink. Actually I’d heard that before but this time, The Brewing Company from Hillsborough, Oregon is making Poop beer. They have permission from the powers that be to do it. And, they are posing an important question. Why use precious well water to grow thirsty almonds. How about recycled “poop” water? You have to be innovative if you are a Californian. And, Kristi, only part of my life is spent in the morning on this machine. So, when I get some poop beer, I’m going to invite you over for a sip!

In the meantime, I’m searching for the mystery Santa because I want to laugh WITH that Santa. I’m so glad I live in this neighborhood.

 

TRANSITIONS.

Normally, if I’m a member of an organization, I like to contribute  by attending meetings, taking on a job and helping out. Because of my traveling lifestyle, I make it to two or three meetings a year. I enjoy that Len, a club stalwart, is always there to play music while others chat and visit. He learned to play accordion as a child and transferred that to piano and organ. He played When The Saints Come Marching In for me.

Club members are a fun bunch and my dinner partner, Earl Randall, worked in Judge Connit’s court, Alameda County,  and knew practically everyone in the Sheriff’s Department that I knew, including having met my husband and his best friend Jack Baugh. It is such a small world. The Elks Club Dinner was Wednesday night.

Last night, Suzy and Ron Hayes, invited Karen and I to have dinner with them before I leave today. I could not ask for better neighbors and I treasure them.

Ron and I share similar philosophies of life and we like to rail against our ineffective politicians as in fire them all and start over. I always tease Suzy that I’m going to marry him when she’s done with him.

Karen and I usually have one dinner together. I try to see all of my friends when I get home. I managed pretty well this time despite unexpected issues to take care of.  Karen often cooks dinner and brings me a plate to share. She took me out for tacos at Sidewinder, but as close as we are, living in the same house, we didn’t manage a sit down dinner together until we got to Suzys.

Today, I leave for Incline Village to have a belated Christmas with my family since not everyone could make it to Calaveras County in December. We’ve rented a condo and almost everyone skis. Ahh! The card games and cooking together, the loud banter, just seeing everyone under one roof is very precious to me.  Then, transitioning to my rambling life with Jim and leaving the busy chaos of home behind for a while. I’m grateful to have such plenteous choices and two distinct lifestyles.

 

NEIGHBORS GATHER.

Neighbors always gather at the party animal’s house. That’s Jan, (a non drinker) whipping up a batch of margaritas. Her own recipe is tequila, vodka, rum and sugar on the glass with limeade for the mix. Basically a let’s clean out the liquor closet margarita.

She was shocked when the worm actually “jumped” out of the bottle and into a glass. I guess she thought the worm was somehow guaranteed to stay in the bottle. You have to know Jan. It didn’t taste like a margarita, but it was pleasant to drink.

We snacked on the deck before the main event. Neighbor Brian, a gourmet cook, brought a parmesan tart with tomato and a leaf of fresh basil. Excellent. He is currently playing with mole sauces with chocolate. I’ll miss it since I fly tomorrow.

Jan’s pond is much bigger than mine and she attracts more large animals looking for water, often cougars and even a bear. I told her about wildlife certification and she agreed to apply.

Neighbor Atilla and his daughter Kera played pool. I hadn’t seen Kera since she graduated High School. Now, age 30, she was visiting her parents and joined the party.

Kera’s mother, Patty. Great cooks, all. Maybe that is why we like to party.

I made a salad niciose, without the green beans. There were none in the market. Like the margarita, it is a clean out the fridge kind of salad with olives, baby spinach, arugula, papaya, red pepper, eggs and marinated red potato slices. Hardly true to the original, but no one cared.

Jan’s grandson preserved her a turkey wing from his hunt in Montana. Jan spent a year with her daughter from March 2012 to March 2013.

Before the berry pie, everyone had a turn at pool. Jan and I avoid playing pool together because we can’t take the game seriously enough not to cheat. I never cheat at cards or other games, but I LOVE cheating at pool. Of course, we warn everyone in advance. She reminded me about an obnoxious boyfriend she lived with for a year who was a poker fiend. Her friend Sally brought a second deck, cheated, and took all of his money. At the end of the game, Jan asked, “aren’t you going to tell him?” She smiled and said, “Nope, he deserved to lose.”  Ya’ gotta watch these women.